this computer shit is kinda cool...never knew you could do some of this shit....had my chatting cherry popped the other day...now i am all the way to chatting with a camera....i am not sure this the best thing for a fat guy to be doing....the camera seems to catch me in parts....i think i need to call dell to see if they have a wide angel camera for this thing....
as far as my life is going i in a holding pattern until thurs...start a new job then....not sure about it though the pay is shit and i will doing something that i have never done before....still no place to live....so that outta be fun live at the airport clean up in the sinks then catch the train to work.... i will only need to be up by 3am...which is cool since i cant seem to sleep there...when i was walking out of the airport i saw these girls in the food court pointing and saying thats him...not sure what else they were saying but i bet it was "wow i wonder i he will go out with me"....why do people do that...and if are going to do that have some fucking tact about try and be a little more inconspicuous about it....oh well i should went with and confronted them.....missed a golden opportunity there....
dreams.....i think i want to get a new tattoo....it will be in chinese writing...it will say "WASTED POTENTIAL" i think that should look pretty cool.....i had dreams have dreams..... still do i guess...there is always time realize your dreams right....you know now that i think about i not sure i can tell you one of my dreams....i know i had them...just not sure what they were...oh i had have a dream...i long to be creative musically art acting anything....not sure if that is a dream want or regret.......just be creative in something....i guess another is not to be lonely.....but that is something that i bring on myself though....i am not sure how to talk to you....i can talk about sports or silly shit but when comes to talking about me or anything really serious nothing...let correct that i can talk to you about your shit i am great insightful caring give sound advise for the
most part...just someone you can go to....but when comes to opening up...nothing i think that is why i am here...maybe this is a dream of some sort a way to communicate with someone anyone with the voneralbe part of actually talking to someone....
here we go the whining has begun...i new that i would find it just took a while...i have a question what do you when you take someones kindness for something more than is ...or if you not sure....these my problems....you start talking to someone....then you become with consumed talking to them...maybe that is not the right word but it is all you think about...then you tricking your self that there is something more there....i hate the way my mind fucks with me....thats another i am so starved for attention that i create in my mind things that are not there....i like talking to you....but i dont want to freak you out or make you think..... fuck i dont know...i do like watching smile and laugh it seems to be very soothing and comforting to me...
i need to go back to airport tomorrow....i hate that...what the fuck am i going to do.....i guess that dont have much to say here 2day just going to keep going forward...not living but existing.... ill be back later maybe with some real content....
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