here i sit scared out of my mind what have i done?....alot let me tell you...is it the right move or do i need another intervention?....in the last post i tried to lay out the fact that next year is going to be huge in my life...doctor, metrosexual, own place, move up in job...alot of shit right...next year....not now...nope not for me...if it is worth doing or blogging about then it should be done now or yesterday...
i guess thats what i get for being the inpatient prick that i am....so here i sit scared, talking to you...still not sure where to begin....not sure if i should talk about hollie coming out for a long weekend or me getting my own place or the doctors visit that i scheduled...well where to begin...i guess here is as good as any...i got a call on sunday from my roommate saying that he wants to talk to me...no big deal...i come and we start talking...and he is having a hard time telling me something so i asked him if wanted me to move out...he kinda sat for a moment and said yes...he then went to explain the reason which i will not get into, but i understood completely...so we are talking about how long it will be before i move...he asked how long i need to find a place and i told him 4yrs...
well i guess that i over shot a little bit...so i asked what he was thinking and he said more like 4 weeks...i was like wow...so we kept talking and came to an agreement of 6 mnths at the longest...i really appreciate that because he could thrown me out on my ass(he would never do that) but he could if he wanted...so that was sunday...and i started to think about it more and more and i came to the conclusion that i need to go sooner than later...so i know this guy that has a condo for rent...so i give him a call go look at it and now i am the proud renter of 2bedroom 2 bath condo...
the funny part of this story is...well how do i put this...remember in previous posts me talking about not having a pot to piss in...well now i can use that pot, and furniture, bed, tv, sheets, dishes, silverware...pretty much everything any member of society takes for granted...so if anyone out there has any spare shit sheet pots pans cooking uts...anything at all they dont need let me know...i am not above begging...
enough of that for now...lets move on to hollie coming out...man i really dont think i am ready for this...i am nowhere the man i want to be for her...she says that she will not be embarrassed of me but fuck i am embarrassed of myself...i hope she understands...she says she does but the voices are really fucking with me on this one...shit i was planning on getting laid next year not next week...well that is going to have to wait...there is no way i am ready i am ready to go down that road...but she still swears none of that matters and wants to come...i think she might need an intervention...i think she might be sincere about me...only time will tell...she does give me hope though and i love her for that and many other reasons....
and finally there is the doctor well the fuck to say here...i am fat and my heart is bad now lets fix it more on that to come...take care and happy holidays everyone....
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