Monday, March 22, 2010

Thats Right Another 5lbs Gone...So Whats Next VEGAS Baby!!!!!!!!!

i know this is not on time, but i had a tumultuous week...lets see what happened first last week?....well it started with a nice little surprise monday morning...so how to put this ummmm....lets just say after 40 yrs of eating one way then all sudden changing it...well lets just say there was blockage bloating and pain....so i had to miss my monday training session...great start huh?...hey do you think anyone could warn me about the possibility of that happening...NO...thanks guys...is there any other small tidbit of info that might important to this process...

so back to it on tues...back on the tread mill...still no pot and pans so i have not been following the diet to closely...no dinner and still have been eating out all the time...wends more of the same...thursday training day...and what do you know there were a beautiful set of new pot and pans waiting for me...no more excuses...shit i guess now i need to start eating vegtables...shit...what the hell...how much more can i do...any way what the fuck are veggies anyway...i thought that they were only consumed in california with all the spout heads...

so before each work out on thurs i go and get on the scale...and low and behold another 5lbs...for a grand total of 10 lbs in 2 weeks...well i hope that i keep on my schedule of 5 per week...well not sure if can keep that up...so being the smart man that i am i came up with the perfect plan to celebrate my huge success...VEGAS BABY...buffets poker buffets black jack did i mention the buffets...now i know what you are thinking why celebrate now after only 2 weeks...well it is simple really i dont that i have been committed to anything like this for 2 weeks straight...so lets celebrate...

so now it is monday evening...i am back from vegas and proud to announce only one buffet was terrorized by me and i was so tired from being up for 35 hrs straight that i dont think i got my monies worth...shit vegas even beat me there what the fuck that has always been a sure win for me...i did make it up this morning to go train...but that seemed to be a mistake...just did not get it this day...not feeling like expressing myself at 630am on a monday so i tend to be a little grumpy...hey what can you do the teddy bear in me does not wake up until tues or wends in the week...i guess i was not socialized properly as a puppy...

well not going to weigh in this week i celebrated a little to much this last weekend...maybe it was the 100 chicken nuggets we bought on the way home from vegas...i f you ever want to see a micky ds blow up and freak everyone out go in and order 100 nuggets and a diet coke...fucking hilarious...

so i am back at home eating my first home cooked meal..cheese burger and broccoli...and to challenge my manhood i am sitting watching dancing with the stars...omg is all i have to say about that..well gotta go edyta is about go up...be safe and GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK....

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Yipeeeeee Success!!!!! Weight Loss!!!!!! Time To Binge!!!!!

well 2day was my first weigh in day...after a grueling week and a half of watching what i ate (which is really stupid to me because in 40 yrs of living i dont think i have ever eaten anything that i did not see...and that is alot of food let me tell you)... so after that hell week and a half and 4 grueling workouts totalling maybe 42mins...i have accomplished what most said could not be done....

thats right ladys and gentlemen weight loss...not much mind you but something...well are you ready...maybe you might want sit down for this...well here it is the magic # 5.4 lbs...thats right all in one week...i know it is amazing...i would not try this at home if i were an average person...luckily i am a trained professional...

well now that i have shown i can do it...lets see how much weight i can carry before i am bed ridden...i am taking bets let me know it has the potential to be a huge pool...stay tuned more to come on my progress...GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Am Sorry For All The Disapointments!!!!

well tomorrow is 13years and it seems like yesterday when i woke up and and picked up the phone at 5:15am to see how bart did in his tournament...when i heard the beeping i knew in my heart that it was not the results i was looking for...i knew it was bad and it was...it was the worse...that is the day that i found out what it means to be alone...

i want to take this minute to let you how sorry i am for not living up to who you thought i would be or could be...as you know i have never cared what else anyone has said or thought about me...and now at 40 i might be seeing what you spent the last 30yrs of your life trying to instill in me...i know that i have never lived up to the talent you thought or knew i had or have...so here i am trying to start my life over yet one more time to show what kind of man you raised...i have come home tail between my legs with nothing...i have been broken to the point of no return it seems...i have learned humility...i have learned that i do not know everything that i thought i did...i have learned all those years of trying to be unlike you were wasted in vain...i have finally come to the conclusion that to be like you could be the greatest compliment or accomplishment i could have...

there is not a night for the last 13yrs that you have not come to me in my dreams...i know you are there i can see you and it seems as much as i try i cant get close enough to you to talk to or hug you...i am not sure if you just watching me or if you are to disgusted to talk me...either way i know you are there and it comforts me...i yern to talk to you and tell you how sorry i am for everything...all the way back to elementary school i have tried to find the easy way the short cut...never wanting to the work for what it requires just to live...so now i am back in the place where you raised me trying to rebuild or start my life and i am scared...i have come back here hoping to be closer to you and everyone i know only to find that i have the same feeling that i got when i come home from school...i still have friends but they have all moved on and have their own lives they are living and i feel more alone than ever...

i wish i came back when i said i would on christmas...i just could not bare to see you in that condition of giving up...even though i have spent my life trying not to be like you...you were and always will be larger than life to me...i get to sit and listen to people tell stories about you...it almost seems like you were a mythical person not real with the love that is in the stories but i knew you were and took advantage of it thinking that you would be there forever...now i know i will never get the chance to say thank you for every sacrifice and all the opportunities you afforded me...

so this is going to have to do...here is an update of me...in the last 13yrs i have blown thru more money than most people make in 20 yrs...i moved to alaska for 9 yrs worked on the radio as the morning show host...became so good at it that i got promoted to general manager of the station...blew my self up had to leave the state...moved to ohio..cleveland for 3yrs...bad things there so i had the brilliant idea to pick and go to portland or...well shit not sure how it happened but that was worse than cleveland...now i am back home trying to change everything to be a fraction of the man you were...

i have had a pretty good start got my own place...job is going well...got new car (well new to me)...and to continue the journey of self awareness i am trying to live healthier and loose weight...not sure if it is going to work but i am trying none the less...i can tell that i am tired of being lonely and know that if i dont change my life i will be talking to you sooner than later...

well on this anniversary i want to say i love you...i miss you and there is not a day that goes by that i am not working to be more the man you thought i can be or could be...god bless you and thank you for being my dad....

Thursday, March 4, 2010

New Job? Poster Boy For A Womans Health Club!!!!! Yipeeeeeee

yes i know it has been a while since we have talked...i have had alot to say really...just unmotivated or lazy...well lets see where were we? i was planning to go get nuclear waste shot thru my body to check out my heart...luckily my numbers were so good that they did not have that...thank god was not looking forward to glowing in the dark...i mean really that is the only time i like to look in the mirror when it is pitch black...i mean i stand there in the dark and marvel at how much i look like tom cruise (but taller) or brad pitt...sometimes i might even do it naked...i usually have to be drunk for that to happen though...let me tell you something for all those who have not seen me in sometime i look dam good in a dark bathroom in the mirror...

enough about loving me where was i? oh yea the heart doc said that i was fine just need to lose weight...no shit thats why i am here so i can start with out killing me with a heart attack...so after some intense counseling (travis what would you do?) we came to the conclusion that i would join his gym...great idea he goes there his family goes there...it will be awesome i wont be alone i will have some motivation im in...where does he work out at la fitness, balleys fuck no he is at a country club...you know the kind where bif and bambi are rushing from the putting green to make their tennis lessons...ya that place...so i get over it and finally call to sign up...they go over the rates and kindly tell that does not include a tee shirt when signing up...now i am pissed cause i do need a tee shirt...well anyway i suck it and set up an appointment to sign up...

so the big day comes and i go and join...nice place...newly remodeled..i did notice that there are not to many fat people there though...more on that later...so the lady introduces me to tyler the gm of the gym...well shit when he sees me his eyes get all big and glossy and he is thrilled to death to have a project...think of the advertising look at what we did with him...so eagerly sits down and proceeds to tell me about the trainers and the nutritionist he is going to set me up with...i am like ok ahuh...so we are finishing and asks me to email him my schedule so he can have a trainer get ahold me and set up training times...well i am like and starting to get excited...well that was on a friday...on tues i am like starting to get aggravated with no call so i call tyler and like whats up i thought someone was going to be calling me...i tried my typical bullshit of putting it on him for not following through...well of course he called me on it and i gave him my schedule...first thing that caught my eye about this guy...

well i am sitting at work on wend or thurs and my cell rings 10 min before i am off of work and it some lady named well lets just say some lady...so i told her i could not talk and that i needed her to call back in 10mins...she was cool and said ok great...well 25mins later i am still waiting for the call and i am thinking this is familiar so i call her back...turns out she is from another gym a "WOMANS GYM" and she said tyler said she should call me in for a consult...so we set it up for friday yet gain...i show up and it is in this expensive looking medical center and it named core life...so i go in and start talking to the young lady...you know the kind real small and overly bubbly kind of like a cheerleader on a perm caffeine high...lets call her pixie...so i am talking to pixie about what i want from this and what i am looking for when all of a sudden tyler walks in to be a part of my consult...shit this is not even his gym...(FUCKING COOL ASS MOVE I AM TOTALLY IMPRESSED THAT HE SHOWED UP FOR THAT)...CLASS ACT...so immediately i realize that this is an intervention and i am screwed....

so we go thru the whole ordeal and they have everything i need there so i am going to get my eating under control lose some weight and then maybe just maybe i will be good enough to go back to the country club...

well i have had 2 workouts..my first trainer pawned me off like tyler did so now i am not just fighting to lose weight and get healthy...i have abandonment issues i need to get resolved...its ok though i think it is going to be good for me toughen me up some cause you all know what a skirt i am...i met with the nutritionist she is going to take me shopping at the grocery store and teach how to shop...so it is cool...so i am in there 2day and asked pixie who the biggest person they have trained is...can you guess let me give you a hint...my before picture is going to be on their advertising poster saying "if we help him just think what we can to with you"...nice huh? still no tee shirt though...


enough of that crap...i am fine...bought a new used truck...dodge ram charger...clean as hell...finally i can get in and out of my car without have to grease myself up with lard to get in and out of it like i did with the altima...work good...all is well and i am still making my bed everyday...so until next time remember if you need a good womans gym call me i know of one that i seem to like so far....